New Release...this ones a little different.

I've published my first volume of children's stories. I've written it under the name L. M. Bricker. It is currently only available on Amazon.

"The Adventures of Prince Edwin, Princess Alice and Friends" is a collection of five stories written for my niece and nephew. They are kind of special because all of the people and places in the stories are people they know and places in their neighborhood in Akron, Ohio.  There are tons of in-jokes for people from the neighborhood (none of which are reading this post).

I don't know anything about writing for children. I didn't write these stories for an open audience, but for my family.  I wrote what would make my dad laugh and characters that would hold the attention of a video game playing 5 year old boy and a 3 year old girl who is interested in kittens and princesses (while still being feminist forward of course).  My beta readers thought they were funny (and one hates children's lit) so I figured I would pass them on to the world.  If you're not interested, cool.  If you want to give them a try, it's only 99 cents. (That's like a 5 piece chicken nugget but with less cancer-causing chemicals.)  I'm pretty sure I haven't written anything inappropriate (unless you're a conservative christian arsehole). I mean, how many kids know what Krav Maga is anyway?

Amazon 99 cents

Blurb:
This is a collection of five children's stories written for the author's niece and nephew. With little practice writing for children, the result is an idiosyncratic but charming collection with lots of humor that will also appeal to any adult reading aloud to their child. (The author would guess this work is at a third or fourth grade reading level, but the stories can be enjoyed by all ages.) There is no overt violence but does include evil witches, zombies, and a princess who wears pink and carries a sword. 4,000 words.

The stories are:
The Christmas Dragon
We meet Prince Edwin and Princess Alice, royal siblings from the kingdom of Kenmore. They must rescue the village of Redfern from a dragon at Christmas.

Osa, Sedona, and the Frog
Two dogs encounter a frog in a Mud Run Swamp.

Price Edwin Meets the Grass Man
Prince Edwin meets a new friend and they rescue the dogs of Kenmore from an evil witch.

Jules and Nigel Save the Day
Orange cats Jules and Nigel save Grandpapa Jorge from a cannibalistic zombie squirrel.

Princess Alice and Lady Tali have a Tea Party
Unfortunately it's interrupted by some mean fairies.

Amazon 99 cents

Books I Will Never Read (and Why)

A few weeks ago I stumbled on a blog that listed books that the blogger had no intention of ever reading. I liked the idea, but the only reasoning the author gave for any of the books was "meh."  (I didn't save the link, nor do I even remember what blog it is, sorry.)  Here's a few books I have no intention of ever reading, and why.

Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
Or anything else by Rand for that matter.  I tried reading it as a teenager but could only get a few pages in because I found the writing tedious, but my reasoning as an adult is that Rand's philosophy of pro-capitalism is just horrible.

Pet Cemetery by Stephen King
I don't handle dead cats very well at all. The beginning of the movie made me turn it off real quick, and I will probably never pick up the book. Also, all respects to Stephen King, I think he's a great story-teller, he writes wonderful short stories, and I've enjoyed every movie adaptation of his work I've ever seen, but his novel-writing style and I have never meshed.

Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer
I read the first book because it didn't seem fair to make fun of it without having at least tried, but I have no intention of ever reading the others.  It's really one of the worst written series that never deserved to get popular. Anti-feminist, melodramatic, obnoxious characters, and the absolutely terrible writing makes these books the worst books ever written.

Fifty Shades of Grey series by E. L. James
Ditto.

Tess of the D'Ubervilles by Thomas Hardy
I watched the 2008 mini-series and it traumatized me for life.  Most depressing story ever. My fiance hates movies with misery in them (this story is nothing but misery from beginning to end) so sometimes to torture him I follow him around all, "She was raped and she named the baby Sorrow and then it died!" And he hates me.

The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks
Nicholas Sparks has a very punch-able face, don't you think?  I actually know little about his work other than it's drippy christian romance, and that's enough for me to stay far, far away.

New Release: The Punishment (DL 3.5)

I wrote this short a few months ago when I was offering autographed copies of Deadly Liaisons volume 1. This
was slipped in with the books as a special gift. So if you ordered volume 1 directly from me, you already have a hard copy. If you want it digitally as well I'll make sure you get it for free.

That being said, this story is going to be free for a short time on Smashwords, probably until Monday. *Update: Have decided to leave it free for the month. Merry Christmas. It will be listed as 99 cents on Amazon unless you guys price match it. (Please do!)

I'm struggling along with book #5, which is entitled Daybreak.  I made a whopping 8,000 word start during nano, but it has a complicated plot complete with flashbacks and possibly a 3rd POV, which I havent done before in this series, making it a little bit different.  So you guys get this while you wait. I'll also be releasing something in January, but it's still up in the air what that something will be.

Buy at Smashwords (FREE)
Buy at Amazon
Buy at Amazon UK

Description:
After the disastrous events at Club Midnight Jamie-boy is angry at Damian for not letting him have his moment in the spotlight when reporters flock to New Franklin. Damian is angry at Jamie-boy for risking his life. Someone just might have to be punished. (Contains m/m sex, bondage, spanking)

Excerpt:
“I’m sorry.”

“Somehow I doubt that.” Damian walked towards Jamie-boy, looking dangerous, his eyes burning dark as he stared at him. Jamie-boy backed up until he fell into the couch and then Damian was straddling him, pinning his arms against the back cushions.

“Wh-what are you going to do?” Jamie-boy asked. The fear he felt was the terrifying thrill at the top of the roller coaster before going over the edge. Something was going to happen and it was going to hurt…but he was probably going to like it. His cock began to stir in his jeans and he knew Damian was aware of it.

“Not everything we play is a game,” Damian said, gripping Jamie-boy’s wrists tighter. “Someone died. More people could have. You are not allowed to put yourself in situations where you would be killed. It would annoy me greatly. But beyond that, you disobeyed my direct orders. Don’t you understand what you've done by aligning yourself with me? Can you possibly think I’m some fluffy, de-fanged, cuddly vampire?”

“I-I don’t think that.” But just as he knew Damian would never hurt him, he also knew Damian was law-abiding and just. He might not be de-fanged, but he did not kill people. Other vampires, maybe, but not people.

“I think you do.” Damian stood and pulled Jamie-boy to his feet by the front of his t-shirt, yanking him across the room and down the hall to the bedroom. Damian dropped him on the floor. “Clothes off, now."

The Nanowrimo Post

art frm Allie Brosh, stolen with love

Thank god it's finally over. Thanksgiving came at the absolute worst time for Nano. I'm very much an introvert and Thanksgiving was 3 days of constant socialization for me, so at the end of every night I was a frazzled mess, and I knew I had to write over 10,000 words to make my word count during that time.  I also kept having to get up early. I havent had more than 5 hours of sleep a night in days.

Needless to say, my writing got really weird towards the end (oaky, it was weird pretty much all the way through). Lesbian fisting, furries, centaur cocks, snuff, and I wrote FOUR children's stories that probably arent fit for children because the squirrels are zombies, I have dudes kissing frogs, and the princess knows Krav Maga.

I wanted to work on "Deadly Liaisons #5: Daybreak" and a m/m steampunk novella called "Made to Love Him" and get both pieces done. Well, DL5 only hit 8,000 words and MtLH is at 15,000 words.  The rest of my word count is spread across ten (finished!) short stories. The kids stories are for my niece and nephew for xmas, four of them are already published under other names (they're not my usual style, but I have sold 10 copies so far) and two more need polishing. One of them might be pubbed under Leigh Wilder (lesbian fisting), but the other (the centaur sex) probably will not.

Below I have made a nifty info graphic illustrating how a semi-professional writer deals with Nanowrimo. (I make lots of pictures when I nano. It helps with the stress.)

A List of Writers

Here is a list of writers that have inspired me over my nearly 20 years as a writer.  Some of them are on the list because of how they write, or what they write.  Some are on the list because of who they are and what they've done.  (Example: I dont like Stephen King's novels, but On Writing is the best book about writing I've ever read.) I even managed a poet in each list. (Very proud of myself for that.)

As a Kid:
Robin McKinley
Christopher Pike
Laura Ingalls Wilder
Joss Whedon (yes, tv writers count)
Paul Zindel
L. M. Montgomery
Nellie Bly (19th century journalist--I was a historical kid)
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
M. E. Kerr
Judy Blume
Margaret Mahy
Patricia McLaughlin
Shel Silverstein
Terry Windling

As an Adult:
Jane Austen
Neil Gaiman
William Shakespeare
Kate Chopin
Charles de Lint
Warren Ellis
Stephen King
J K Rowling
Alan Moore
Stephanie Meyer & E L James (They proved to me that if their shit can make money, mine can too, and inspired me to seek publication.)

Black Friday Sale!

For Black Friday only I'll be selling all Deadly Liaisons titles for 99 cents each (except of course Drain Me Dry, which will remain forever free).  Save $4.00 when you buy the whole series!  If you're new to the series visit HERE for book trailer and blurbs.

Smashwords "Deadly Liaisons" Series Page

Amazon Links:

(prices might not be in effect early in the day--waiting on amazon to process the changes)
Drain Me Dry

Addicted to the Bite

Club Midnight

Bloodlines

Club Midnight and Bloodlines are normally $2.99.

New Release: Fancy and the Mechanical Man

I am notoriously good at missing deadlines. Almost all of the short stories I've self published are the result of finishing a story sometimes months after I've missed it.  This release, "Fancy and the Mechanical Man", is such a story.


I've been toying with a steampunk idea for years. There are so many versions of this universe floating around. I finally nailed down a few key elements of this world with this story. Decisions were made. I'm currently working on a m/m novella length story set in this universe, the city of Karstenhaven.  I'd also like to eventually put out a collection of stories from this universe, but until that happens, here you go.

This is a very short story, only 2,500 words, and I understand that it might be a little too pricey at 99 cents, which is why I've been putting off publishing it for a while. But I figure, its up to you guys to decide if you want to pay that much for it, not me.

Buy from Smashwords
Buy from Amazon
Buy from Amazon.uk

Description:
Karstenhaven. The city of science, of wonder. The engineers of Karstenhaven could work miracles. But there were no miracles in Storyville, where the shine of the city turned to filth and the streets were populated with opium addicts and whores.

Fancy is a prostitute in Storyville.  When she opens her door one day to a young, attractive, rich man, she knows there's been some mistake. Men like that didn't visit women like her. But this man was different. He has a problem with the ladies, but his problem is Fancy's miraculous gain. He has a mechanical hand, and that hand can do amazing things.

Excerpt: 

Fancy sat on a chair in the middle of her flat, legs spread wide, an electric fan blowing warm air up her raised skirts. “If it gets any hotter my make-up is going to drip off,” she complained to the empty room. She had already stripped off her shoes, stockings, and pantaloons. “This heat,” she moaned. “I would do anything to get out of these clothes—”

A knock at the door interrupted her train of thought. “Like a customer,” she said, jumping up and quickly arranging her wine red skirts.

Her face fell a little as she opened the door, but she tried to hide her disappointment. “Are you even old enough to be here?” she asked her visitor.

The young man at her door scowled. “I could take my business elsewhere—”

“No,” she said, pulling him inside. “Wait.” She shut the door and studied the figure in front of her. His light brown linen jacket matched his hair and eyes. He wore a vest, top hat, and white gloves even in this scorching heat. A ton, on her doorstep? It wasn’t unheard of, no, but they normally were not so young, or good looking. The youth was slight, but obviously well-built even beneath the layers of clothes. “How old are you?”

“Twenty-two,” he said. Does he even need to shave?

“Yeah? When is your birthday?”

“August tenth. 1871,” he answered correctly.

“And you want my services? Can’t find a pretty young thing easily impressed by a bit of flash?”

“I am, Madam, at a disadvantage when it comes to wooing young ladies.” He unbuttoned one of his gloves and pulled it off. Fancy saw exactly what he meant. His right hand was smooth polished brass and steel instead of skin, muscle and bone.

“I understand,” she said, her voice softening. She reached out, taking the mechanical hand in both of her own. It was warm and buzzing with the whir of cogs and gears. The city of Karstenhaven was notorious for its mechanical abilities—far beyond the technical innovations of the rest of the world. This young man was not human or machine—he was somewhere in between.